What Subconscious Programmes is your Child programming during this crisis?
Hi! how are you going? How are your kids?
This week I’ve heard the whole contrast again, from oh we’re having a wonderful time, just enjoying being together, kids are playing happily again, rekindling their sibling friendships that maybe were lost when other friends were available…..to the opposite.
I had a parent tell me that although they were coping really well work-wise, it was their kids that were the real concern. Aged 8,6,4 this parent told me that
somehow at school, they had gotten into their heads that all the adults in the world were going to die.
This parent was telling me that they’d had to go to the chemist and having been met with security guards and having to have temperatures taken before they entered, freaked the kids out even more. The parent was saying that they had been fine but once all this started to come out the parents realised to what extent their kids have picked things up, and now it seems like their kids anxiety is getting worse rather than better.
THIS is exactly the thing we need to stop from happening. Or fix quickly if for some reason if has happened.
And it could be that your kids did pick something up that scared them at school, or from the media, or from overhearing things.. and haven’t said anything…so keep an ear to the ground, now that they’re home, hopefully feeling safe, these things could start to seep out.
Or, now that some kids are starting to return to school, look out for it…but I think we’ll have a chat about the return to school in a week or 2 as more kids start to return, because it’s a big deal and I’ll get completely sidetracked here….so let’s stay with where we’re at now and assume the kids are still at home. Feel free to contact me privately if your kids are back at school and things are starting to come up…
So, back to our kids, particularly our little ones, or ones prone to anxiety, having in their heads a terrible belief like the one I heard this week, that all adults are going to die.
This is a huge problem. And it’s tragic.
Imagine for a minute that you had no logical mind, no rational part of your brain that could talk you out of that thought. So you hear it, and it’s in there. Theres no filter in your brain to decide whether its true or not, whether to allow it in or not. It’s not challenged, not rationalised away, not countered with a different statement. It just passed right on through into subconscious and sits there below your awareness.
Well that’s exactly what happens with our kids. The younger ones, 7ish and younger. There is no filter.
They hang around predominantly in a brainwave state that doesn’t allow for much rational thought,
particularly for the younger ones, their brainwave state is akin to one that people put you in to get you into a hypnotic state.
They’re not yet connected to the parts of the brain which allow for critical thinking,
They’re like a sponge. Whatever they hear goes in. Straight to the subconscious.
So, if they’re a child that already has a propensity for anxious thinking patterns, they might keep it alive in their conscious mind and go over it again and again at that time.
But even if they don’t spend ANY time thinking about it and get right on with playing and life and the next moment, it’s still in there. Its still gone right into their subconscious mind.
So whats going to happen to it? Well, lets talk about 2 main scenarios.
#1. It may come out at some point.
And that’s exactly what happened to the parent I chatted with this week. Something triggered it and it started to come out, to come up into conscious awareness. Which is great. Because you can learn about what exactly they heard, what they think, how it makes them feel, and most importantly, what beliefs they have, so that you can tackle them.
Scenario #2. It may never come out directly.
If things they heard slipped right by the conscious mind and into the subconscious whilst they were busy doing something else, they may never be aware that it’s in there, or it may come out later as an adult or when its triggered or when they start looking at their unconscious beliefs…,
But in the meantime what will happen is it will serve as a filter through which information will be taken in, for the rest of their lives potentially.
It will affect the way they see the world, at some level, unaware to them.
Our brain is designed to keep us safe. To be on alert to danger. And the thought for a child that all adults in the world are gong to die, is something for the brain, to sit up and take notice of…
So sufficed to say here, to live with that belief somewhere in there, is going to have an effect on them, long term, if it’s not dealt with.
So please, this week, I urge you, check in with your kids again, ask them how they are, what they think of this whole situation, how are they feeling,
but most importantly, keep your ears to the ground, keep an ear out when they’re playing with siblings or dolls or toy figures, or dreams they have…
We talked last week about you being the detective and looking at how you truly are.. This week I encourage you to be the detective of your kids – have a look under the cover and see how they really are…..
i will be here this eve, 8pm Sydney time, 11am UK time. We’re here for you, for your mental health and that of your kids, so see you there. Message me for the zoom link if you need it and keep your questions coming too, I love getting them and it helps me help you, knowing where you’re at.
Stay safe, stay mentally well, you and your kids. Lots of love,